Architects of Destiny Page 13

  Cris took her hands and slid her onto the couch next to him. “Not this.” Kate tried to protest, but he was persistent. “We’ve been spending a lot of time together recently. I feel like we’ve really gotten to know each other, and you’re such a beautiful person, inside and out. You mean so much to me.”

  Kate smiled. “You mean a lot to me, too. I think you’re amazing.”

  Cris forced a smile through his nerves. “But the thing is, you’re from a High Dynasty.”

  Kate shook her head. “That doesn’t matter, I told you. None of that matters here.”

  “Isn’t there a part of you that holds onto that old life?”

  “No, this is my life now.”

  Cris took a deep breath. “What I’m trying to say is, would you really spend your life with me, even marry me, knowing I’d be nothing more than a TSS Agent?”

  Kate searched his eyes. “Are you proposing?”

  Cris blushed and let go of her hands. That wasn’t the reaction I was expecting! “No. I mean, not formally. More hypothetically.”

  Kate was silent, but her elation was apparent by the upturn at the corners of her mouth and fire in her eyes. “If you’re asking if I think such an arrangement would be ‘beneath me,’ no. I never had aspirations of marrying within the Dynasties. There was a single eligible suitor for someone of my birthright, but he would never so much as meet me.”

  “He was an idiot.” I was that idiot.

  “Regardless, none of that ever mattered to me. All I want is to be happy. To have someone who’s as crazy about me as I am about him. I can say with absolute certainty that you make me happier than anyone ever has. You’re all I think about.”

  Cris smiled, reveling in the connection between them that he couldn’t put into words. “You too.”

  Kate gave him a coy grin. “So yes, in this hypothetical of yours, I would happily marry you.”

  Cris leaned forward and kissed her. He couldn’t help himself. You still need to tell her. He pulled himself away. “That means more to me than you know.”

  “Why are you so nervous?” She took his hands in hers.

  “I wasn’t completely upfront with you about who I am. I’ve phrased things in a way to give you a certain impression about me. I feel awful about it, Kate. I shouldn’t have, but I just needed to know you care about me, not who I am by reputation.” He looked into her eyes, trying to make everything okay.

  “All right…”

  “Kate, my real name is Cristoph Sietinen. And I’m very much in love with you.”

  “You’re…?” She pulled back.

  Without hesitation, Cris pushed up the sleeve on his left forearm and turned the inside of his wrist upward for her to examine his Mark to confirm his identity. Instinctually, she pulled out her handheld and tuned the light to the closely guarded frequency that everyone born into a High Dynasty had memorized practically since birth. Kate ran the light over his wrist, and the Sietinen crest and Cris’ full birth name glowed light purple on the surface of his skin.

  “It’s true…” Kate ran her fingers over the Mark, tracing the form of the serpent in his family’s emblem; she touched the falcon invisibly imprinted on her own wrist. She caught herself. “You lied to me.”

  “Kate—”

  “No, you lied to me. Call it ‘withholding the truth’ or whatever you want to tell yourself, but that’s a bomaxed big of a thing to keep from someone!”

  Uh oh. “I know it was stupid of me. When I found out who you were, I panicked. I’ve been ‘Cris Sights’ for so long now, it’s my default.”

  Kate scoffed. “It’s one thing to introduce yourself that way, but to wait until you propose? Stars! I almost gave myself to you.” She stood up and stepped away.

  Cris rose, but gave her space. “I just needed to be sure.”

  “Sure about what?”

  “That you were into me as a person, not my title.”

  Kate stared at him with disbelief. “You think I’m really that shallow? After everything we’ve discussed?”

  “No. I…” Shite! How do I salvage this? He took a breath. “I didn’t have very good experiences with other Dynasties in the past.”

  “After our first date you should have had more faith in me.” She crossed her arms. “And especially after a few weeks.”

  “I did. There never seemed like the right time to tell you.”

  Kate looked like she wanted to cry. “Oh really? Not when I was pouring my heart out to you about my own crappy childhood on Tararia? Or talking about my poor sister whose betrothed—your brother—died? Or when we speculated about a new Taran revolution?”

  “Well… yes.” Fok, this is bad.

  Kate laughed to herself, fury building in her eyes. “Let’s not overlook the fact that my suitor on Tararia was you. You cast me aside without ever giving me a chance.”

  “I maintain that I was an idiot.”

  “It seems you still are.”

  Cris winced. “I meant everything I said. I do love you, and I want to spend my life with you.”

  “I thought I did, too.” Kate pulled into herself, the anger written on her face turning to hurt. “One of the things I liked so much about you was that you were a regular guy, yet you were cultured and self-assured, even around someone like me. You had big ideas. But I now realize it was just the same self-serving arrogance of anyone else in the High Dynasties.”

  “I ran away because I didn’t want to be like them!”

  Kate shook her head. “That’s what makes it even worse. At least most people think on behalf of their family, but you acted completely in your own self-interest. You abandoned people who were counting on you. It’s selfish and cowardly.”

  No! They forced me out. They didn’t want me… “It wasn’t like that.”

  “Deny it all you want, but you’re acting just like the people you profess to despise—thinking that you can say or do whatever you want, and then announce yourself as a dynastic heir and expect everything to magically work out.”

  No… “I just got so wrapped up in escaping that life—”

  “You haven’t escaped! If anything, you’ve become even more like them.”

  By pledging my life to the TSS? By wanting to bring down the Priesthood? Right! “How can you say that?”

  “Charming and cultured on the surface, but you’re only in it for yourself. I thought you could be a real partner—someone who saw the other side and believed things could be different.”

  “I do feel that way! Together we could—”

  “Yeah, we could have done a lot. Some of the things you said really got me thinking. But now I don’t know if I can trust you. You didn’t even tell me your real name—how much else have you kept from me?”

  “Nothing!”

  “I don’t know…”

  “Kate, please try to understand my reasons and where I was coming from.”

  “I think you should go.”

  Cris’ heart dropped. “Can’t we talk this through?”

  Kate shook her head, staring past the floor. “There’s nothing to talk about. I need some time to think.”

  I can’t leave things like this, not so close to leaving for our internships. “Kate, please.” Cris took a step forward and held out his arms for a hug, but Kate held up her hand in protest.

  “Don’t touch me. Just go.”

  Reluctantly, Cris nodded. I don’t want to make things worse. “I’m sorry.” He let himself out.

  Cris’ stomach was in writhing knots. How do I fix this? He hurried back to his quarters, avoiding the gaze of other Junior Agents in the hall. If he couldn’t be with Kate, then he wanted to be alone. To his disappointment, he found Scott sprawled on his favorite couch in the common room of their quarters.

  “Hey,” Scott greeted when he entered. “I thought you’d be at Kate’s for the night.”

  The knots in Cris’ stomach pulled tighter. “Things didn’t go well.”

  Scott sat up. “You told her?”
r />   “And now she hates me.”

  “Oh shite.”

  Cris eased himself onto the adjacent couch. “Yeah.”

  “What happened?”

  It all feels like a nightmare now. “I told her I loved her and wanted to spend my life with her—”

  “Whoa, you didn’t tell me that part before!”

  Cris ignored the interjection. “When it was clear she felt the same way, I told her who I was. She’s furious I misled her.”

  Scott let out of a slow breath. “That was a lot of revelations all at once.”

  “I really foked up.” Cris rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

  Scott shrugged. “I suppose that depends on how you look at it. Maybe she never even would have talked to you, if she’d known who you were upfront.”

  “You’re not helping.” Cris glared at his friend.

  “My point is,” Scott continued, “you might have missed out on seeing what you could have together. But now you both know. The connection is obvious, even to an outside observer like me. Don’t give up.”

  “I’m not. I just wish things were different.” Stars! Why did I ever let it go this long without telling her the truth? That was so stupid.

  “Give her some time.” Scott gave him a supportive smile.

  “Yeah.” I can’t talk about this anymore or I’m going to drive myself crazy. Cris rose. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Hang in there.”

  Cris felt like banging his head against his bedroom wall, but tried to bury the feeling. At first, he laid down on his bed, but it was soon apparent that he was far too wound up to sleep. With a frustrated groan, he forced himself up to grab his tablet off of the desk.

  There was a notification that he had several unread messages in his inbox. His first instinct was to ignore them and try to distract himself with a mindless game. But what if Kate wrote me? Gritting his teeth, he opened the inbox.

  Most of the messages were an email chain amongst some of his classmates regarding a group assignment. He scanned through the inbox. Nothing from Kate. He sighed. Then, he noticed one message in the list unlike the others. It was addressed from his father, with the subject: “I want to talk to you.”

  As if this day could get any worse. It had been a while since he’d received anything from his father. With a groan, he decided to open the message. The body read: “You can’t ignore me forever. Next time I call, please answer.” He’s the last person I want to talk to right now. Cris was about to close the message when he noticed that it was tagged with an automatic “read” receipt back to the sender. Great, now he’ll know I’m at my computer.

  Sure enough, an incoming call from Tararia popped up on the viewscreen above his desktop. Cris wanted to decline, but he knew if his father was serious about reaching him, he would keep trying until he got through. If I just hear him out, then maybe he’ll leave me alone.

  Cris settled into his desk chair and initiated the video call. “Hello, Father.”

  The image of Reinen appeared on the screen. His hair was a little more touched with gray than Cris remembered. “Hi, Cris. I didn’t actually expect you to answer.”

  Any other day and I probably wouldn’t have. “You seemed pretty insistent.”

  “Well, I’m glad you did.” Reinen looked him over. “I try to forget how long it’s been, but seeing you now… You’ve grown up.”

  Cris crossed his arms. “Well, it has been almost five years.”

  “Did you get him?” came Cris’ mother’s voice from out of the camera’s view. Alana came to stand next to her husband. “Cris! We’ve been so worried about you.” She was a regal woman, touched by the years, but carrying them with grace.

  A full-on family reunion. “Hello, Mother.” I’m surprised she has any interest in seeing me.

  “You look well.” Reinen ventured a smile.

  “I’m well enough.” Everything was great until yesterday. He suppressed the ache in his chest as his thoughts started to drift back to Kate.

  “Is everything okay?” Alana asked.

  Reinen searched his son’s face. “Are you happy?”

  They see your pain. Don’t let them bait you. “Happier than I ever was there.”

  Alana paused. “We miss you, Cris.”

  I find that hard to believe. “Look, I’ve had a pretty shitey day. What do you want?” Cris snapped.

  Alana looked aghast and turned away.

  Reinen recoiled. “We just wanted to wish you a happy birthday.”

  Birthday? Cris glanced at the calendar on his computer. Stars! It is. With everything going on, I completely forgot my own birthday. He looked down. I just assumed they had an ulterior motive.

  “You’re our only child to make it to twenty-one,” Reinen added faintly.

  Now I feel like a jerk. “I… Thanks.”

  “We’d have a party for you, but…” Alana said, still looking down.

  I’m not there. “I know.” Cris took a deep breath. I abandoned them and didn’t look back. Despite his own feelings of discontent, he knew it wasn’t a fair thing to have done to his parents. Kate’s words were still fresh in his mind. “I’m sorry I left with no explanation. I was only thinking of myself.”

  Reinen was caught off-guard. “It’s nice to hear you acknowledge that,” he said eventually.

  “It wasn’t until recently that I had the proper perspective.” Kate was right about me, as much as I didn’t want to admit it.

  Reinen sighed. “All these years I’ve tried to understand.”

  “It wasn’t any one reason.” Cris ran a hand through his hair. I can’t possibly explain to him what it felt like to be an outcast in my own family.

  “Alana, dear, will you give us a moment?” Reinen gently placed his hand’s on his wife’s shoulders and directed her away.

  “It was good to see you, Cris. Please stay in touch,” Alana said as she turned to go.

  After she ignored me my whole life, I doubt that’s a genuine request. “Goodbye, Mother.”

  Reinen gathered himself as soon as Alana had departed. “I still wish you would come home.”

  “Please, don’t start—” Can’t we just talk without it turning into a lecture?

  “What kind of life can you possibly have there?” Reinen’s eyes narrowed.

  Cris had to fight to keep from immediately going on the defensive. He does have a right to be angry with me. I ran away from my responsibilities. “The TSS has given me something I couldn’t get anywhere else. I finally have friends here with the same abilities. I feel like I belong here.”

  Reinen began to pace across the room and the camera followed his movement. “That was fine for a while, but at some point you need to assume your proper place in society. You’re a dynastic heir! You need to start acting like one.”

  Cris glared at the image of his father. The sentimental act was all a facade after all. “There’s more to me than my social standing.”

  “But at a certain point, you need to look at your marriage prospects. I can’t imagine you have a great selection within the TSS.”

  Cris smirked. “You’d be surprised.”

  Reinen stared down his son. “I won’t let this bloodline be destroyed by you trying to marry a commoner.”

  He hasn’t changed at all! “Thank you for reminding me why I left Tararia in the first place.”

  “You’re meant for more than this, Cris,” Reinen implored.

  I am. Just not in the way you think. “Don’t bother calling me again.” Cris ended the transmission with a disgusted groan. No wonder I was so self-centered. That man was my role model.

  He returned to his bed and stared up at the ceiling. I won’t be that kind of person. At least the TSS has pointed me in the right direction. I wish Kate could see that. He rolled over on his side. The TSS is still my new home, with or without Kate. But I hope it’s “with”…

  CHAPTER 15

  Still nothing from Kate. Is she going to avoid me forever? After th
ree days of obsessively checking his email and receiving no message, Cris was beginning to despair.

  The conversation with his father had left Cris feeling bitter, and it made him miss Kate’s companionship even more. He had tried to keep himself busy with class work, but he was cracking. After finishing up his remaining assignments for the day, Cris headed into the common room of his quarters to find Scott.

  To his relief, Scott appeared to be done with his own assignments and was playing a game on his tablet while sprawled across the couch.

  “Hey,” Cris greeted.

  “You want something,” Scott replied.

  He’s perceptive. “Has Marsie said anything about Kate? I’m losing my mind.”

  Scott set down his tablet. “I told you, you need to be patient.”

  Cris groaned. “But has she said anything?”

  “Just that Kate was really upset. I haven’t talked to her since the day after your little blowout.”

  That’s not helpful. Cris collapsed on the couch and crossed his arms. “I don’t know what to do.”

  Scott let out an exaggerated sighed. “You’re going to drive me crazy if you keep this up! Try to track her down in one of the lounges or mess hall if you’re so intent on talking to her.”

  Yes! A seemingly random encounter. “That’s a great idea.”

  Scott shook his head with exasperation. “Try not to get into deeper trouble.”

  Cris grabbed his tablet out of his room. I can look like I’m just going to study in the lounge. It was a feeble plan, but he was desperate.

  Intent on the mission at hand, Cris set out to comb the common Junior Agent recreation areas.

  The first three locations were a bust. Cris was on his way to the mess hall when he spotted Kate at the end of the corridor.

  His heart leaped. “Kate!”

  She turned away to walk the other direction, but Cris jogged over to her before she could find an exit. “I still need more time,” Kate said as Cris approached. She kept her gaze down.

  I can’t wait any longer. We leave in three days. “I miss you.”

  Kate sighed and looked up at Cris. “I miss you, too.” She groaned, seeming frustrated with herself.

  Cris wouldn’t let her look away. “Can we talk? Please?”